Psychological violence is a basis for all other forms of violence and a component of each of them. This may seem complicated, but hear - or read - me out: physical violence is a form of psychological violence, but psychological abuse is not a form of physical violence. If we go even further, we can see the same pattern in sexual abuse: while sexual abuse is like physical violence - or even more so - a form of psychological violence, psychological abuse isn't always sexual, of course. The same goes for economic violence, which is always emotional torture.
Let's break it down:
Domestic violence often starts with control: let's take the example of a woman whose boyfriend is very jealous. After a while he starts asking her where she's been, if she's just fifteen minutes late coming home, he flips out, yells at her. He starts reading all her messages and makes her cut off contact with her male friends. This is psychological abuse: this is where it usually starts.
After a while, when she's just five minutes 'late' from work because she's been talking to her colleagues, he's sure she's having an affair with her boss. He drinks way over his limit and hits her for the first time. Then, of course, he apologises, he tells her he won't do it again and he's really sorry. But this goes on and on and on. She's really trying not to upset him, she's walking on eggshells. To be so afraid of someone you live with is a form of psychological violence. So even though we see the bruises on the surface, there is always an inner struggle, feelings of humiliation, degradation, loss of self-worth behind.
Let's look at sexual violence. The woman may now marry the abuser. In his mind, women are supposed to have sex with their husbands, so they can't refuse it. When she comes home from work, tired, he keeps asking her, even though she says no several times. And then he takes her, which is a form of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can take many forms, from receiving unwanted naked pictures of someone and touching people without consent, to underage and forced marriages, and even rape. In many cases, sexual abuse can be accompanied by physical violence. But the "symptoms", the feelings that victims report, are similar to those of physical abuse, but are often longer lasting and even more damaging to the victim's mental health. Again, this is psychological torture.
After a few years, the woman, who now has two children, finally decides that enough is enough. She goes to a crisis centre, where she's supposed to stay for a maximum of three weeks. After that, she rents a small flat for herself and her children. But her salary is too low to cover all the expenses. The children go to school with chlotes that are too small and used books. Her children's father keeps telling her that she can't afford to live like this, and since the court hasn't decided anything yet, he doesn't pay any child support. They manage for a few months, but then she realises it's not going to work. She returns to the abuser (on average, the victim returns to the abuser seven times. Seven. Times. On. Average). Try to imagine the emotions she's going through, seeing no other option but to return her children to the violent man*. Smells a lot like psychological abuse, doesn't it?
I don't know, just a thought I had.
*When it comes to children, it's considered violence even if they 'only' witness violence directed at other people.
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