20 Days In Hell

On the day we meet, we kiss. 

I just look in the mirror holding my head in excitement.


On Friday, I notice the mark that your lips left on my neck.

I just lay around anxiously.


On Saturday, the texts start to feel awkward.

I cry for the first time.


On Sunday, we don't talk.

I hit my personal best in the 5k.


On Monday, the mark on my neck starts fading.

I have my first green tea in months.


On Tuesday, you text me that thoughtful message.

I listen to your favourite song on repeat.


On Wednesday, I don't think much about you.

I get myself as busy as possible.


On Thursday, I start texting other men.

I fail to fall asleep.


On Friday, I text you and you seem distant.

I get jelaous and want to get back at you.


On Saturday, the mark on my neck disappears completely.

I tell my friends that I'm not going to obsess over us anymore.


On Sunday, a guy on the bus smells just like your laundry detergent.

I cry. Again.


On Monday, I start going crazy again.

I run my personal best in the 30k to calm myself down and nearly throw up.


On Tuesday, you ask me how I am.

I start to write again.


On Wednesday, a guy asks me out on a date.

I agree in the despeate attempt to regain the sense of control over the situation.


On Thursday, you feel light years older than me.

I can't sleep and I keep my phone next to my bed which I never do, checking it anxiously every half an hour.


On Friday, I feel like I'm never going to find a better match.

I start eating smaller portions again.


On Saturday, I wait for hours to reply to your messages.

I decide to get a new student's job.


On Sunday, my friend starts showing that he likes me romantically.

I feel out of your leauge.


On Monday, I decide we make no sense.

I take a rest day.


On Tuesday, you feel like a child to me.

I confirm the date.


On Wednesday, I feel like you don't care.

I go on a pointless date with a pointless guy who is nothing like you. I start to miss you.

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